Acceptance of Terms
By viewing this domain, thinking about email in its general vicinity, or exhaling near a device connected to the internet, you agree to be bound by these Terms, whether or not you finish reading them.
Eligibility
You must be either (a) in possession of an extraordinary reason, as defined at the sole and unreviewable discretion of the Service, or (b) a houseplant acting under the supervision of its registered owner.
Description of Service
checkyourcloset.xyz provides access to a private email service that may or may not exist depending on the day, the weather, and whether the domain remembers renewing itself. Nothing on this page constitutes a promise, a guarantee, or a coherent business model.
Prohibited Conduct
You may not use the Service to: (i) organize an actual, physical closet; (ii) forward a chain letter written before the year 2004; or (iii) cite this document in a court of law, as it was not written by a lawyer, nor by anyone who has personally met one.
Fees
The Service is free, except in cases where it is not, which will be disclosed to you exactly once, verbally, at an unspecified future date, and never mentioned again.
Termination
We may suspend or terminate your access at any time, for any reason, including but not limited to the specific reason that we changed our minds about closets.
Limitation of Liability
In no event shall checkyourcloset.xyz be liable for damages including, without limitation: lost data, lost time, lost closets, or a general and lingering sense of having been mildly misled.
Governing Law
These Terms are governed by the laws of whichever jurisdiction sounds most official at the moment a dispute arises.
Changes to These Terms
We reserve the right to amend these Terms at any time, without notice, and without necessarily having changed anything about them at all.
Contact
Questions about these Terms may be sent to info@checkyourcloset.xyz, where they will be filed alongside everything else.